MUSLIMS AND DISAGREEMENTS

Bismillahir-Rahmanir-Rahim Alhamdulillahi rabbil-‘alamin was-Salatu was-Salam ‘ala Sayyidil-Mursalin wa ‘ala ‘Alihi wa Sahbihi Ajma’in. As Salamu 'alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh.

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Q1: How can we tolerate other opinions and find a middle ground by protecting our own boundaries?

Tolerance is regarded as a necessary condition for coexistence in Islam. It assumes that social, cultural, and religious differences require tolerance, even if these differences do not meet the approval of the parties involved. Hence, it is crucial to think about it and replace it into our lives by practicing. Before get into detail, it must be said that we should not be so sure about any thoughts we have (except for Quranic knowledge) since it is known that “The only constant thing in life is change” (Heraclitus). Then, it is also acknowledged that every single person have their own different backgrounds and re/act to the issues accordingly. By knowing this, as a Muslim we firstly show our respect and patience to the people before us.

A question might raise here: “How can we indicate these two important points?” The answer is rather related to the process of communication. In order to have pure communication the most vital key is listening. According to studies, there are two type of listening. One is so-called listening, which means pretending to be listening while thinking of an answer instead. Surely, the communication that includes no listening – or so-called listening- is not a real communication. The other one is pure listening, which means listening to the person carefully and trying to understand what s/he means in deep. By this way, patience and respect could be felt by the other person.

Other point of this question is relatively more important and easy to apply. We, as Muslims, must have our own boundaries (attitude) that is fed by Islam itself. In addition, if we let the people around us know it they directly know that we are going to react according to Islamic studies, which will help us to react freely without thinking of misunderstanding. Therefore, for 3-day-long Dunya life (very famous Turkish metaphor) we should not be overthinking of what people think, we must stand on our truths and consider what Allah thinks instead.

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Q2: How should we react to an idea we don't like or disagree with during the discussion? And when there is a strong backlash against our thoughts, how should we react to them?

As discussed in the first question, argues are the part of this modern life. Therefore, as Muslims we must accept this reality and improve ourselves accordingly. Since no Muslim would want to break someone’s heart intentionally. To solve this issue or advance ourselves as always Quran’s and Prophet’s (p.b.u.h.) teachings should be read.

At this point our beloved Prophet (p.b.u.h.) says that “He who gave up disputing while he is right, a palace of high rank in Paradise will be built for him. He who gave up disputing while he is a fabricator, a palace in the centre of Paradise will be built for him.” (At Tirmidhi).

Therefore, with the light of the hadith given above, it might be concluded that we must know where to leave the argument regardless of being right or not. It is further discussed in our meeting, and we concluded that as “Don’t argue back, rethink and build your thoughts again.”

The second part of the question is easier to answer, since Allah (s.w.t.) already answered that question in holy Quran. In the case of a strong backlash against what we believe, we must not continue to argue. Allah says in the Surah Al Furqan (63): “The ˹true˺ servants of the Most Compassionate are those who walk on the earth humbly, and when the foolish address them ˹improperly˺, they only respond with peace.” Of course, it is not always as easy as it can be said. Yet, we must remind ourselves about the hadith mentioned in the previous paragraph so that we get strength from the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) himself.